We all want to achieve a degree of success in our lives. This could be in our professional, personal or/and spiritual life.
As a passionate life and business strategist, I have made it my mission to understand why certain people succeed and why others don’t.
And I’m still searching…
One thing I know is that it doesn’t boil down to one principle.
There are a range of keys, once acquired can lead a man (or woman) to true success.
I’ll be sharing one of these keys in this post. And I call it the law of Dependency.
I came across the concept when reading an amazing book by Stephen Covey, titled, 7 Habit of Highly Effective People.
Reading this book confirmed the concept I am about to share with you.
Just as a baby grows to become a man (or woman) and that man grows to become an elderly man, the mind also has the ability to grow.
The challenge we face is that we know how to feed the baby so that he grows into a man.
How then do we feed the mind of the baby, so that as he grows in age, he grows in wisdom?
The Law of Dependency states that there are 3 levels of thinking that indicates one’s level of maturity.
Now, I don’t mean knowledge. You can know something and not act on it.
I mean, thinking that leads to action.
There are three levels, and our aim should to transcend to the top of these levels.
In this level, we are dependent on others to functional in a proper state.
This could be physical dependency that we all see in children who need their parents to carry out certain activities. Or need their parents to think for them, and also need their parents to show them love.
Sadly, there are people who haven’t been cared for as children, so while they have physically grown up, they still rely on others to think for them, or even love them.
There are people who need to hear that they are loved to actually feel loved. This is because they still dwell in the dependency level.
This is where we learn to do this for ourselves. From eating on our own as children, to making decisions on our own.
Everyone strives to get to this level, where you can confidently trust in your decisions and emotions. You don’t need anyone to tell you how smart or beautiful you are, you already know.
This is where self-confidence, self-esteem and more is attained.
You can read more about the Independent Thinker in my recent blog post, where I break down the concept of thinking independently and its benefits.
In this level of dependency, you understand that change in your world comes from you. You aren’t quick to blame others for your shortcomings.
You understand that you are unique and don’t need to compete with the thoughts and opinions of others.
Some people are so happy to get to this level that they miss out on the next level that transforms ones life.
While it’s important to believe and know that you are unique, the epitome of true maturity is when you understand that two heads are better than one.
You don’t despise your independence, but you appreciate the power of a community. In John Maxwell’s book, Put Your Dream To Test, he shared that a big dream requires a big team.
Sadly, some people are so fixed on being in the “independent” level that they don’t see the point of working with others.
A matured mind would know that it’s better to have 30% of a city, than 100% of a street.
Married couples who have attained this level of dependency know that they bring 100% into the relationship, but they still need each other to make it work.
The ability to build communities is predicated on the idea that we are stronger when we are together.
While it’s important to get to the second level, you shouldn’t stay there. You should endeavour to keep building your mind until it gets to a place where it understands the power of Interdependency.
The dependent man relies on “You can do this.” The independent man says “I can do this.” The interdependent man says “We can do this”